Episode #012 The Gender of Grief with Jacob Tobia
In this insightful episode of Grief on Purpose, Laura welcomes author Jacob Tobia to delve into the intricate layers of grief, masculinity, and society. Jacob, a non-binary author of 'Sissy' and their new release 'Before They Were Men', breaks down their journey of self-discovery and the profound impact of their father's death on their view of grief.
As they discuss Jacob's transformative experiences, they explore how societal constructs of masculinity stifle male grief, leading to deep, intense societal issues that affect all populations. Jacob opens up about caring for their father through a devastating and painful accident and illness, the disillusionment with the medical system, and the noticeable lack of men in grief support spaces. Jacob points out the ways in which men are told to be "strong" and how this has a far-reaching impact, an impact that might be solved with compassion and awareness. They also talk about their relationship with their father as a queer, non-binary person raised in North Carolina and how it evolved through an episode of MTV's True Life, patience, and their father's dying process.
Together, Laura and Jacob contemplate the possibilities of a world where men are free to grieve openly and the transformative power of embracing grief with curiosity and courage. This episode is a reminder that grief is universal, and that in grief, there is possibility for sacred beauty and profound connection.
Jacob Tobia (pronouns: they/them) is a gender nonconforming writer, producer, and performer based in Los Angeles. A member of the Forbes 30 Under 30 and the OUT 100, Jacob made television history voicing the nonbinary character of Double Trouble in Netflix’s She-Ra and The Princess of Power. Their writing and advocacy have been featured by The New York Times, Time, The Guardian, Good Morning America, and The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, among others. Originally from Raleigh, North Carolina, Jacob has worn high heels in the White House twice. They are the author of Sissy and Before They Were Men.
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